Newsletter #8: Listening with the whole body

A practice for deepening connection through embodied, attentive listening.

🧠 Small Essay: When Listening Becomes Presence

Most of us think of listening as something we do with our ears and our minds.
We hear the words, we interpret the meaning, and often, while the other person is still speaking, we begin preparing our reply.

But mindful communication invites a deeper kind of listening.
Listening that happens not just in the head, but in the body.

When we listen with the whole body, we notice our breath.
We feel our feet on the floor.
We sense the tightening in our shoulders when something difficult is said, or the softening in our chest when we feel understood.

This embodied awareness changes the quality of our attention.

Instead of leaning forward to fix, defend, or explain, we settle back into presence.
We allow the other person’s words to land without rushing to shape them into our response.

Whole-body listening is slower.
It’s quieter inside.
And because of that, it communicates something powerful without a single word:
You matter. I’m here.

This kind of listening expands our capacity for understanding.
We begin to hear not just what is said, but what is meant.
Not just the story, but the feeling beneath it.

In a world that rewards quick reactions, whole-body listening is an act of care.
It asks us to trust that connection grows not from saying more, but from receiving more.

This month, we practice listening as presence.
Not to perform attentiveness, but to become it.

🎧 Private Podcast Episode

Listening with the Whole Body

In this month’s private episode, we explore how embodied awareness transforms the way we listen. You’ll be guided through a short somatic practice you can use in real conversations to stay grounded, open, and connected — even when emotions run high.

💬 Self-Talk Script: Returning to the Body While Listening

When you notice your mind racing ahead, silently offer yourself one of these phrases:

“I can listen without preparing my reply.”
“My only job right now is to receive.”
“Let the words land.”
“Breathe, and stay.”
“Understanding can come before responding.”

These phrases gently anchor your attention back into the body and into the moment.

🧘 Mini Guide: The Whole-Body Listening Practice

1. Feel your feet.
Before or during a conversation, notice the contact between your feet and the ground.

2. Breathe low and slow.
Let one full breath move through your body before responding.

3. Relax your jaw and shoulders.
Tension signals that you’ve moved into reaction. Softening helps you return to receiving.

4. Notice your impulses.
When you feel the urge to interrupt, advise, or correct, simply note it: “Wanting to respond.”
Then return to listening.

5. Reflect before replying.
Try one sentence that shows you heard them:

“What I’m hearing is…”

“It sounds like…”

"I think what you're saying is ..."

"I want to make sure I understood. Are you saying ...."

This completes the loop of presence before you add your own voice.

Practice this in one conversation each day, even for a few minutes.

🌿 In Real Life: What This Practice Looks Like

1. At work
A reader noticed herself getting defensive in a meeting when her idea was questioned. Instead of jumping in to justify herself, she felt her feet on the floor and took one slow breath. She said, “Can you say more about what concerns you?”
The tone of the conversation shifted. Instead of an argument, it became a collaboration. Later she shared that the pause helped her feel steady enough to listen, and the feedback actually strengthened her original idea.

2. With a partner
During a tense conversation at home, one Insider member felt the familiar tightness in his chest and the urge to shut down. Remembering this month’s practice, he silently said, “Stay.”
Instead of walking away, he reflected back what he heard: “It sounds like you felt alone handling that.”
His partner softened immediately. The conversation moved from blame to feeling understood.

3. With yourself
Another reader caught her inner voice saying, “You’re so bad at this,” after an awkward interaction. She paused, put a hand on her chest, and tried a self-talk script: “I’m learning. I can begin again.”
The spiral of self-criticism eased. Instead of replaying the moment all day, she sent a simple follow-up message to clarify what she meant and moved on with more compassion for herself.

What these moments have in common
No one said the perfect thing.
No one erased discomfort.

They paused, noticed their body, and chose presence over reaction.

That small shift is what mindful communication looks like in real life:
one breath, one reflection, one kinder sentence at a time.

✍️ Journal Prompts: Exploring How You Listen

When someone speaks, where does my attention usually go first — to them or to my response?
What sensations arise in my body when I feel truly heard by someone else?
In what situations do I find it hardest to stay present while listening?
What changes when I take one breath before replying?
How might my relationships shift if others felt more fully received by me?

This month’s invitation:
Let listening be more than waiting your turn.
Let it be the place where connection begins.

Mentorship Enrollment (Insider Rate)

Enrollment is open for my year-long Mindful Communication Mentorship, and as a Mindful Communication Insider you receive a preferred rate and direct access to me throughout the year. We begin February 3rd and only a few spots remain.

You can register at your Insider rate using the link below. Just choose if you'd like to pay in full or use the payment plan:

https://www.intentionalconversations.com/offers/yiJ5tVf6

On our calls we practice together in real time so you can stay calm, clear, and less reactive in your everyday conversations at work and at home.

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