Monday Reflection: The Practice of Trust

I don't remember wanting to control life as much as I do now.

When I was a child, I simply lived.

Yes, there were things that made me nervous. Everything was new. But I didn't spend much time worrying about what might happen. I loved trying new things, meeting new people, and having new experiences. I wasn't constantly asking What if? or Am I making the right decision? I was simply there, fully in the moment.

My teenage years were much the same. I made thoughtful decisions, but I also trusted. I trusted that things would work out. I didn't analyze every possibility before taking a step forward.

In my twenties, that trust continued. I moved to New York, and later to Madrid. Looking back, I made some pretty big decisions without knowing exactly how everything would unfold. And somehow, that didn't stop me. I trusted myself. I trusted life. I allowed myself to move forward without needing every answer.

Then my first love died unexpectedly.

Losing him changed my relationship with trust.

For a long time, I found myself questioning everything. The world no longer felt as predictable or as safe as it once had. It took years—and a great deal of mindfulness practice—to slowly rebuild that trust. Not because I suddenly understood why painful things happen, but because I learned that even when life is uncertain, I can meet it with presence.

Then I became a parent.

And once again, trust became my practice.

There are so many decisions to make. So many opinions to sort through. So many moments when I wonder if I'm doing enough, choosing wisely, or getting it right.

This past week, I dropped my son off at his first sleepaway camp.

As I drove away, I realized the practice wasn't letting him go.

The practice was trusting.

Trusting that he could do hard things.

Trusting the people caring for him.

Trusting that whatever unfolded, we would meet it together.

It reminded me that trust is at the heart of mindful communication.

When we don't trust ourselves, we second-guess our words, hesitate to set boundaries, and look to others to tell us what we should think or feel.

When we don't trust others, our conversations can become filled with blame, suspicion, jealousy, or the need to control.

And when we don't trust life itself, we spend so much energy trying to predict the future that we miss the present moment altogether.

There's a well-known Taoist story that beautifully illustrates this.

A farmer's horse ran away.

His neighbors came to comfort him.

"What terrible luck," they said.

The farmer simply replied,

"Maybe."

The next day, the horse returned, bringing several wild horses with it.

"What wonderful luck!"

"Maybe," the farmer replied.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the wild horses, fell, and broke his leg.

"What terrible luck."

"Maybe."

A short time later, the army came through the village, drafting every able-bodied young man into war.

Because of his broken leg, the farmer's son stayed behind.

The story reminds us that we rarely know, in the moment, whether something is good fortune or bad fortune.

Life unfolds in ways we cannot always see.

Trust doesn't mean believing everything will go exactly as we hope.

It means believing that whatever unfolds, we have the capacity to meet it with wisdom, compassion, and courage.

That's the practice.

This month, I'd like to invite you to explore trust—not as certainty, but as a willingness to loosen your grip on control.

Where in your life are you asking for guarantees before you're willing to take the next step?

And where might you practice trusting yourself just a little more?

Maybe it begins with something as simple as listening to your own answer when someone asks,

"What do you want for dinner?"

Sometimes trust grows in the smallest of moments.

XX,

Cynthia

P.S. Our Live Monthly Circle  will be Wednesday, August 12th at 12:00 p.m.  est

We'll begin with a meditation, explore the month's practice together, and I'll answer your questions about mindful communication, relationships, parenting, work, or simply being human. You can send your questions here. You will receive a reminder email the day of with the link for the monthly call. The Zoom link for the calls is always the same: Zoom Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81284774668

Reminder that these calls are NOT RECORDED. I've chosen not to record our Practice Circles because I want them to remain a space where we can be fully present with one another. My hope is that these gatherings feel less like content to consume and more like time we share together.