Monday: Reflection

Today I’ve been thinking about intention as it relates to being kind to ourselves.

Because being kind to ourselves is something we actually have to practice intentionally.

At least I do.

I can be hard on myself. I criticize myself. I make things harder than they need to be. I beat myself up over things I would probably never say to another person.

And I think a lot of us do this.

We’re often harder on ourselves than anyone else.

Which is strange when you think about it.

We are the person we are with all day, every day.

We are the person who hears every thought, experiences every mistake, feels every disappointment, and carries us through every difficult moment.

And yet, somehow, caring for ourselves can be the thing that slips through the cracks.

We can be so focused on taking care of everyone else, meeting expectations, getting things right, or being who we think we’re supposed to be that we forget to ask:

How am I treating myself?

What would it mean to bring a little more friendliness to the way I speak to myself?

A little more patience?

A little more forgiveness?

A little more willingness to care about what I want and need?

I don’t think this means liking everything about ourselves.

There are things about ourselves we may want to change.

There are ways we may want to grow.

There are behaviors we may need to take responsibility for.

But we can do those things without turning against ourselves.

We can say, I don't like how I handled that, without saying, I’m terrible.

We can acknowledge that we made a mistake without making the mistake our identity.

We can accept the parts of ourselves we struggle with while still choosing to care for ourselves.

And I think that changes how we show up with other people.

When we are constantly criticizing or abandoning ourselves, it becomes harder to be honest in our relationships.

We hide what we think.

We swallow what we feel.

We say yes when we mean no.

We avoid difficult conversations because we’re afraid of what someone else might think of us.

But when we have a friendlier relationship with ourselves, we can begin to trust ourselves enough to speak.

To express what we need.

To say what we actually think.

To be honest without immediately judging ourselves for it.

So today, I’m practicing bringing more patience to myself.

More friendliness.

More acceptance—even toward the parts of myself I don't particularly like.

Not because I need to become a different person.

But because all of me belongs to me.

And the person I’m going to be with for the rest of my life is me.

Maybe caring for that person—intentionally—is one of the most important practices I can have.